Sucking it Up or Letting it Out–You Choose

by todaystapping on April 19, 2015

Theophilos / Foter / CC BY-NC-ND

A great article about the consequences of “hanging in there” on our physical health has prompted this particular post. The author writes of how a rich tradition of sucking it up, powering, soldiering through has really negative consequences on our health; I add, increasingly negative consequences as the stresses of the patterns of life and living habituated in this country worsen.

Survival mode is what we are living when we are sucking it up and hanging in there. And we cannot be thriving, which is our more natural state, as it is any creature’s natural state in this world, when we deny the promptings of our hearts and souls.

Do you wonder what is hanging in there and what is not?

Here’s my LONG list of the various situations in which we live from survival mode:

1) Staying anywhere and in any pattern that doesn’t serve our well-being; accepting that feeling stuck and trapped is our fate.


Covers ALL the bases! The sucking it up we do in the world always comes from internal patterns/programs that are running our choices, mostly out of conscious awareness. From jobs to relationships to lifestyles. Of course, there are life situations that require us to sometimes make choices that feel more circumscribed and limited. They may not be the ones we would make if we felt really free to do what we wanted (for example, not moving to a new town because of the disruption to children) in which case it is incumbent on us to take the best care of ourselves and our families as we can and not just suck it up.

These choices are all conditioned by deeper, core patterning: habituated patterns of armoring, of hiding/avoiding, of shutting down, of letting ourselves be controlled by fear, by resentments, of believing we have to keep the peace, not rock the boat, take care of others first, sacrifice what we want and need to be accepted by others.

All of these take a toll on our immune systems and our adrenals. Adrenal fatigue is one of the most common results in the body from prolonged psychological stress and strain, but one that most allopathic (mainstream) physician’s do not even acknowledge. Google the effects of adrenal fatigue and you might be surprised. There’s a great on-line test for adrenal fatigue here.

We can not suck it up and be connected to ourselves and others. So sucking it up ALWAYS diminishes our relationships in the world and our capacity to give and receive love. We are more preoccupied with our “stuff,” our energy is depleted, so we don’t have as much of it to use to interact with others, we don’t feel as well physically, our moods are deflated, we are more armoured and less comfortable with feeling vulnerable and intimate.

We bury away shame and embarrassment with negative self beliefs thinking somehow this is making us strong, when it’s tearing at the fabric of who we are…. Sucking it up, by definition, means that we disregard the needs of part of ourselves. It’s like turning our backs on our best friends–our most intimate partners. And the truth is that the more we do this the less we can be there and be present with anyone or anything.

I’ve recently said that if I could give a gift to the world it would be that everyone could see that they can be safe with their own darkest secrets, deepest pains and shame so they could trust that releasing them would be safe for them to do and transform their lives.

Dissolving the walls that separate us from the pain we carry, allows that pain to release, to escape its entrapment. We free ourselves from the gripping nature of the past troubles. And isn’t that ironic? We are socialized to ignore our pain by, in part, hurting ourselves with negative be-lie-fs about our own inadequacies, our lack of deservedness, with a mistaken be-lie-f that we can go on better, we can achieve more, be more powerful, be freer of the fear and pain and yet it is exactly that which traps us…

Pain trapped by more pain doesn’t create freedom; the best we can create through it is escapism.
Here’s a tapping protocol for the practice of Letting It Out vs Sucking It Up or Thriving not Surviving
(If you need assistance with the points, please go here.)
Even though I had to suck it up, to shut down, to armor myself my whole life, I choose to trust there is another way.
Even though I’ve felt tapped and stuck for such a long time, I choose to turn around and love myself, instead.
Even though I’ve hung in there and sucked it up forever, from deep in my heart, I know I am safe and secure, strong and healthy
       and loved and accepted, profoundly.   (sore spot)
-sucking it up forever (EB)
-powering through when I wanted to run, to leave, to stop (SE)
-thinking I didn’t have a choice (UE)
-feeling trapped and powerless and small (AL)
-feeling embarrassed (UL)
-losing trust in myself, in God/Spirit/in live (CB)
-feeling there’s something wrong with me (UA)
-feeling I’m not good enough and don’t deserve better (W)
-but it’s not so black and white as that (TH)
-I can turn this around (EB)
-no matter how long I’ve felt this way, I can still choose differently now (SE)
-committing to choosing differently (UE)
-I let go of all the frustration I carry within me (AL)
-I let go of all the pain and heartache I carry within me (UL)
-I let go of all the fear that keeps me from finding a healthier, happier way through (CB)
-I let go of all the charge in my nervous system, in every cell of my body (UA)
-I let go, I let it all out (W)
-I free myself from what makes me feel small and insignificant (TH)
-I free myself from negative self talk (EB)
I free myself from scaring myself by fantasizing negative outcomes (SE)
-I choose to embrace change (UE)
-I choose to trust that Life (God, etc.) is rooting for me, cheering me on (AL)
-I choose to thrive (UL)
-I choose to feel fully live (CB)
-I choose to live fully alive (UA)
-I free myself from the constraints of sucking it up and hanging in there, from soldiering on and armoring myself,
       so I am free to live fully alive, co-creating a thriving reality with Life.
Here’s to a more enlivening and enlivened experience of living your life!
 Here again is the on line test for adrenal fatigue…

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